With all due respect, Burger King, I’m starting to wonder if you really deserve that crown.
I eat a lot of fast food. Probably too much fast food, some would say. Call it an occupational hazard, call it laziness, call it whatever you want. But in my recent drive-thru adventures, Burger King has yet to impress me with its special offerings. The ghost pepper whopper? Didn’t scare me. Fiery nuggets? Left me cold. The candied bacon Whopper? Wasn’t sweet on it.
To break out of its recent fast food funk, Burger King turned to the City of Burgerly, er, Brotherly Love.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Burger King Philly melt.
The Philly melt consists of two burger patties topped with peppers and onions, Swiss cheese and “Royal” sauce, all on toasted bread. This isn’t the first time Burger King has had “melts” on their menu, but the Philly melt made its debut Thursday.
Peppers, onions and Swiss cheese do not a Philly cheesesteak make. And while we’re at, Philly doesn’t even make the best cheesesteak. New Jersey does, at Donkey’s Place in Camden! The food god himself Anthony Bourdain said so. But back to the burger. Swiss cheese has no place on a cheesesteak (ask John Kerry) but it is tasty on a burger, as are peppers and onions. Maybe this would finally end the streak of Burger King blunders.
Nope. In fact, this was the worst special item yet.
I tried to forgive how messy the burger looked upon unwrapping — it’s a melt after all, right? But the thing started to fall apart before I even took a bite. And it somehow tasted worse than it looked. The cheese, sauce and veggies all congealed to create a weird texture and an even worse flavor. Combine that with the artificial smokey flavor that comes with Burger King’s patties — some love this, I find it off-putting — and this was one of the worst burgers I’ve had in recent memory. None of these ingredients sound bad on their own, but somehow fail spectacularly when brought together.
I’m going to keep trying Burger King menu items. Maybe one day they’ll put it all together and actually make a good special burger. But until then, I’m heading to Donkey’s Place for a cheesesteak.
Related coverage:
• I tried Sonic’s orange Cloudsicle slush float so you don’t have to. Here’s my review.
• I tried Wendy’s orange Dreamsicle Frosty so you don’t have to. Here’s my review.
• I tried Burger King’s candied bacon Whopper so you don’t have to. Here’s my review.
• I tried Taco Bell’s 6 new menu items so you don’t have to. Here’s my review and ranking.
• I tried McDonald’s Double Big Mac so you don’t have to. Here’s my review.
Stories by Jeremy Schneider
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Jeremy Schneider may be reached at jschneider@njadvancemedia.com and followed on Twitter at @J_Schneider and on Instagram at @JeremyIsHungryAgain.