Dear Abby: Widows ask why friends desert them, but what about the widows who desert their friends?

DEAR ABBY: I know I’ll be chastised for having these thoughts, but I need advice. I thought I was supportive to my friend who lost her husband after a four-year battle with Alzheimer’s disease. We have known each other for 25 years. She has become unresponsive and no longer asks me about anything. I check on her almost daily, but she never makes the first text. I also send cards, which she does not acknowledge.

Her husband died more than a year ago, and I know I shouldn’t judge her grieving, but I thought she would be better by this time. Widows ask why their friends desert them after a death, but what about the widows who desert friends? -- LONELY IN THE EAST

DEAR LONELY: Some individuals are more resilient than others. While you may have been able to get over the loss of a spouse, parent, child or pet quickly, others are not so lucky. The sad fact is, there is no set timetable for grieving. Invite her out to lunch so you can talk face to face instead of relying on cards and texts. If you do, it may help her to recover more quickly.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.