Dear Abby: Should I call child protective services on my daughter’s abusive husband?

DEAR ABBY: I need advice about my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage. Her four boys, aged 3 to 12, have been affected by what is going on. They are not properly disciplined and are being abused as well. Her husband is on drugs and abuses my daughter mentally and physically in front of the children.

Should I keep letting her take my grandsons back to a bad situation, or should I call child protective services? This is tearing me up inside. We are not young enough to handle caring for the kids full time because they’re so messed up. They’d end up in foster care. What should I do? My daughter would probably lose her mind if she lost them, but I can’t stand to see them suffer. -- ALARMED IN MISSOURI

DEAR ALARMED: There may be a less drastic solution than calling child protective services. The next time the husband acts out, call the police. Once he’s out of the house, help your daughter find a battered women’s shelter that will accept her and her children until she can become independent. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; thehotline.org) may be able to help you locate one. This would be better than turning your grandchildren over to strangers.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.